


What You Own

by robertstanion



Series: Black Friday Fics [5]
Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Dimension, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Im scared, M/M, Oneshot, PEIP - Freeform, Songfic, Swearing, The Apotheosis - Freeform, car crash, cursing, death by apotheosis, death by car crash, gun - Freeform, guys rent is gonna come up on my spotify wrapped 2020, i'd die for these kids, rent - Freeform, this is the fic that links all my previous fics together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23094124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: It was chaos. The island had gone into lockdown, and it was General McNamara’s duty to try and quarantine the dead. Unfortunately for him, the infection had spread at a much quicker rate than previously predicted. It was now up to McNamara and Xander Lee to save humanity and stop the apotheosis from spreading to the outlands.
Relationships: Emma Perkins/Paul Matthews (mentioned), John McNamara/Xander Lee
Series: Black Friday Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564606
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	What You Own

**Author's Note:**

> The song used for inspiration is What You Own from Rent! I should mention, this is very angsty. There is a very brief description of a car crash towards the end of the fic, and it isn't detailed in any way whatsoever because I don't particularly like writing gore! Anyway, enough of me talking, enjoy!
> 
> side note: wilbur cross got infected by the apotheosis in this dimension okay pEACE

A swirling sea of songs soon stopped the safety of the small town known as Hatchetfield. Two men stood in the midst of the ghost town. A heavy slither of smoke enveloped the centre of the town. It was blue-grey and was quick to engulf any building or person it bought with it. The two men, guns raised to the sky, both began to back away from the smoke, which was situated along the outskirts of the centre. They both walked backwards, hoping to find one another in this crazed event. It wasn’t long before the two had their backs pressed against each other, and they span in a small circle to keep an eye on this fog type consistency. The smaller of the two exhaled, tilting his head upwards slightly. There was a heavy lingering feeling of guilt sitting on his chest. He pressed his back against the taller man’s more, longing to feel something other than terror. He closed his eyes. “So this is it. This is the end of Hatchetfield like it was always destined to be.” He found himself saying. He felt the sudden jolt of the other man’s shoulders rising and falling, indicating a lazed chuckle.

“I guess so. This is where all our hard work payed off, and the town’s coming down. It’s almost a shame.”

It was the smaller one’s turn to laugh now. “To think just hours ago we were safe. Now we’re in the middle of the apocalypse.”

The taller nodded. “I guess this is what we signed up for.”

The smaller smiled but remained focused. “What are you thinking about?”

“About what’s gonna happen if we don’t make it out.” The taller admitted. “Our legacy, PEIP…the rest of the team are gonna be shit without their General.” He chuckled again, but anxiety seeped through.

“PEIP are gonna be shit without their best theoretical physicist. Now focus.” He said. He kept his eyes shut. “I’m thinking about what was happening hours ago.”

“Remind me.”

* * *

It was chaos. The island had gone into lockdown, and it was General McNamara’s duty to try and quarantine the dead. Unfortunately for him, the infection had spread at a much quicker rate than previously predicted. He came to the decision that he had to go into Hatchetfield himself and destroy anyone who wasn’t a PEIP agent. Anyone outside of his team, or what remained of his team, could not be trusted His team had been under medical showers three times that day alone The reason for this was it was just to be sure the infection was killed off permanently. It was the safest way possible to ensure that the infection didn’t spread to further parts of the world. If it did, there would be no stopping it, and that would be the end of the universe as they knew it.

The world, in the event the infection couldn’t be contained as planned, would become a sea of rampaging zombies turned musical. The spores from the air would replace their humane blood and mutate it into something entirely different. It would genetically reconstruct the shell of the human from the inside out, transfiguring the elements of the human to be blue. The innards of the model would not be able to hold their original structure and would instead dissolve into a blue slime. The victim’s eyes would glow a bright blue, and any fresh wound or scar may emit the same heaven-like glow as well. It was a way to make the Hivemind appear ethereal, when it was quite the opposite. They tricked their victims into thinking the hive would give you what your heart desired but would instead trade your life for one that featured no emotion and one that turned you into a mass murdering machine. It wasn’t John McNamara’s idea of fun, and it was why he was sitting in Xander Lee’s lab, tapping his foot nervously. “Xander.”

The physicist turned his head over his shoulder, setting a glass petri dish to the side. “Yeah?”

“Please tell me you have a cure.” The shorter one of the two asked as he put the cigarette that he’d lit a few seconds ago back between his teeth.

Xander shook his head and walked over to the cupboard “I nearly have it. The strings of DNA I’m working with don’t appear to be bonding with each other, like they’re supposed to.”

“And what sort of strands are they again? BL-U3 and…?”

“The R-3D, which should be the counterattack, but so far the ratio equation I had isn’t working, which only means one thing.” Xander looked at John, who tilted his head back in frustration.

“The apotheosis has started to evolve to become stronger as the Hive gains more members?”

Xander nodded. “Correct, sir.” He said before returning to working on whatever the project required. John didn’t understand what he was doing. He never had. He just knew it was like chemistry and physics combined. He didn’t know these compounds that Xander had created either. He just pretended he did. He became frustrated as he read the time on his watch.

“Goddammit, Lieutenant, I’ve given you since 7:00 AM this morning!” He stood up.

“And what would the time be now…?” Xander asked, unsurely.

“2200 hours.” John rose. “I’m putting an end to this damn apotheosis if it means I get killed myself. I can’t sit around and wait anymore. And if it means that the three quarters of Hatchetfield that have been infected prior to this conversation get shot twice in the head, once in the heart, then so be it.” He took the cigarette out of his mouth and crushed it under his boot. He tucked the chair under the desk and headed for the exit.

He had believed he was along until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to look into Xander’s eyes. He handed John a mask, but John let it fall to the ground. Simplistically, he uttered the words, “don’t breathe too deep,” before pulling away. He’d been over the emergency strategy too many times. Everyone had. “Don’t think all day.” He continued as he grabbed the car keys from his pocket.

_Dive into work, drive the other way._

John unlocked the jeep and climbed in to the driver’s side, Xander quick to follow by getting into the passenger seat. John looked over his shoulder as he reversed into the road. He had to save Hatchetfield now because if he never did, he’d go down in history as a failure. He was an openly gay general who was determined to make a change to the world, whether it be small or big. And this? This was anything but small. There had to be a reason to stop the infection from spreading further or else this wouldn’t be worth it. His years of hard work had to pay off now. They had to. What else was he supposed to do otherwise? They drove in silence for a long while until they began to approach the centre square. The radio would have been on, but neither John nor Xander had wanted to take any risks with the soundwaves increasing hive activity. Still driving, John spoke up. “That drip of hurt.” He said, a soft sigh on the edge of his words. Xander looked over. John remained facing forward.

“What do you mean?” He asked, watching the general closely.

John appeared to tense up slightly. “There’s going to be a problem, Xander. I can feel it. It’s like a pint of shame that goes away but then it comes back. And now it’s part of my instincts. Something bad is going to happen when we’re in the square, and you need to promise me, Lieutenant, that nothing bad can happen to the force. Understood?” He finally glanced over to the physicist, who looked concerned on every inch of his face. Still, Xander nodded as the jeep parked on the pavement.

_Just play the game._

* * *

The square was a memorial to John and Xander’s earliest memories. For example, when they were newly fledged adults, they’d come here for their first date. John had worn a white mid sleeve T-Shirt with blue denim jeans. Xander had worn an olive-green hoodie and black jeans. John’s hair had been short back then. He also didn’t have a beard either. But still, it had been John, and Xander had still smiled. If Xander had known what John would grow to be back in the 90’s, he’d have confirmed their relationship there on the spot in the most subtle way possible.

John had raised his arms above his head, palms facing upwards, just after kicking the iron gate open. His back had been turned to Xander and he was looking towards the sun, which was directly overhead. You could hear his smile in his voice when he declared to Xander, “you’re living in America! At the end of the millennium!” He then spun around and beamed at Xander. “That’s from Rent!” He said in an attempt to impress Xander and it was in that moment that Xander realised this was the man he’d want to spend eternity with. He was fun and bouncy and essentially what a golden retriever puppy would be like in a human form. Loveable but also stern. Sure, it was the first date, but Xander couldn’t pretend he hadn’t fallen head over heels for John a long time prior to this.

“You’re living in America?” Xander asked as he raised an eyebrow, stepping in to the square and John nodded, his eyes running wild with emotions.

“Leave your conscious at the tone!” John said and pulled Xander further into the park-like area. Xander couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He was ecstatic. John continued to recite the lyrics. “And when you're living in America at the end of the millennium…” he pulled Xander down as he sat down himself under the shelter of a tree. “You’re what you own.” He gazed lovingly into Xander’s eyes and Xander smiled. They’d both had the same idea as they leaned in together after making sure they were alone. That had been their first kiss. It was the start of many to come afterwards too.

\---------------------------

Xander was clinging on to that memory as the gate squeaked open. It was bent at the top, and the black paint was flaking off the bars to reveal the rust that had developed over time. He was hesitant to step in, but he did. There was no sun, but instead, the stars and the sky were their only source of light. There wasn’t any grass anymore either, but instead concrete lay in its place. Xander’s eyes flickered over to the area where they’d shared their first kiss. The one thing that stood in it’s original place was the tree, which was protected by marble panels. Remembrance stones paved the edges of the tree, building up a border, imprisoning the tree. Xander hated the sight. There wasn’t any reference to the fact this place used to be full of sunshine, kids’ laughter and couples. Now nature was dead, just like the majority of Hatchetfield was.

John scuffed his boots against the concrete and pulled out his gun. His hair was stood up on his arms and his nerves prickled like static as his emotions began to swirl. After moments of debating, John put the gun back into its rightful place and replaced it with a cigarette. Immediately, he heard Xander tut, but he ignored it. “I’ve told you to put those things away.” Xander said, keeping himself facing toward the gate as he pulled his own gun out. John rolled his eyes out.

“It’s the end of the world, Xander. Nobody can stop me.” He said and put the supplies away, keeping the cigarette between his teeth.

“They are horrible things, Jay, and you know it.”

“Don’t try and lecture me now.” He said as he folded his arm across his waist, using his left hand to hold the cigarette. “You know this is the only thing that calms me down.”

“ _I_ calm you down.” Xander retorted as his eyes began to scan the scene for any sign of an infected being.

John exhaled the smoke that had gathered in his airways and watched it dance into the surroundings. “Zee stop trying to bullshit yourself right now. We need to focus.” He said, working on finishing the cigarette as quickly as possible. He could feel the tension between him and his husband and he sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“What do you need to be sorry for?” came Xander’s reply as he refilled the bullets.

“For dragging you out here.”

“You did no such thing, John.”

“Still…if we’d have worked harder, we could have prevented this from happening all together. We should have listened to Henry Hidgens.” He said, not noticing the smoke beginning to thicken paranormally in front of him.

“He’s a lunatic, honey. You can’t blame yourself now.” Xander said as he noticed the smoke as well. “John? Do you notice the smoke?”

“No?” He said as he turned his head over his shoulder again, noticing what Xander was saying. He threw the cigarette to the ground and put it out under his foot, drawing his gun. “Okay, now I see what you mean.”

“Was this your doing?”

“How was this my doing?!” He gasped slightly, now fully alert.

“Your cigarette!” Xander said, trying to get John to reason with him. “Fuck it. There isn’t any point trying to argue. Something weird is happening, and it’s happening to us now.” He said.

John nodded from the other side of the square. “Yeah…” he said and watched the smoke thicken before his eyes.

_The filmmaker cannot see._

John stepped back as the smoke appeared to move closer to him. “Xander, do not let the smoke touch you!” He said. He could hear Xander moving backwards too. At least Xander would be safe.

“Got it.” The other man’s voice came. His voice seemed quieter now, even though he was closer. Keeping their eyes focused on one point, they continued to back into the centre of the square. They were both as startled as one another when their backs collided, but they both sighed in relief. “I’ve got you.” Xander said at once, turning his head slightly to look at John.

“I know you do. But do you have yourself?” The general asked, pointing his gun to the sky, keeping it a short distance away from his face. Xander’s was held a few centimetres away from his chest, a more reasonable option. John shut his eyes and pushed Xander slightly so they began to spin slowly in a small circle, remaining in the centre of the square. The feeling of guilt, that had stayed with him since they’d left PEIP Headquarters, was now putting more pressure on his chest. His heart rate increased, and his breath quickened. He knew something bad was happening. He closed his eyes and tilted his head more, finding a crook in the back of Xander’s neck. “So this is it. This is the end of Hatchetfield like it was always destined to be.” He found himself saying. He felt the sudden jolt of the other man, indicating a lazed chuckle.

“Yeah…” Xander said, watching the smoke shift to a bluer grey. Suddenly, glowing blue dots appeared in the smoke. He gripped his gun tighter. “And the songwriter can not hear!” he said in a rushed whisper. John hummed and looked over Xander’s shoulder, having to stand on his toes to do so. He saw and immediately returned to his original position. Shadows that outlined human features were in the midst of the smoke. They staggered their way into the clearing in a dancing sort of way. Xander and John stopped spinning, remaining frozen against each other. This was how they’d die, together in the field  
  
 _Yet I see Mimi everywhere, Angel’s voice is in my ear._

People Xander and John had known from the force were around them now, singing, circling, staring. The song was slow, soft, a trap. John squeezed his eyes shut tighter and buried the back of his head further into Xander’s neck for comfort. He heard Xander whisper something, but he couldn’t make it out. When he opened his eyes again, he saw them all.

_Just tighten those shoulders, just clench your jaw til you frown._

His old mentor lead the way. Wilbur Cross stood, acting as the leader of the pack. John’s shoulders tensed and he clenched his teeth so hard he swore he felt one break. His old mentor was grinning as lyrics spewed out of his mouth, the rest of John’s team following Wilbur’s demands. Wilbur wasn’t the head of the Hivemind, however. Nobody was. John could feel himself began to crack. It was at that point in time he felt Xander grab his wrist. John held his gun with one hand, and Xander’s hand with the other. They both let their hands drop to their sides as they remained focused. Their fingers intertwined with one another as they kept their breathing steady.

_Just don’t let go or you may drown._

“This is the end of our millennium, huh John?” Xander smiled, combatting the song that was surrounding them with his own voice.

“What do you mean?” The smaller man asked as he kept his gun raised. He wouldn’t shoot unless it was necessary.

“That song you always used to sing to me on dates. The one from RENT.”

“Don’t sing now-“

“I’m not gonna. I’ll just say the words. You know? You're living in America at the end of the millennium. You’re living in America-“

“Where it’s like the twilight zone…” John finished the line and gripped Xander’s hand tighter. The night was closing in on the two of them. Xander nodded, still smiling. He shouldn’t be smiling. His nerves were destroying him, but he had to remain strong.

“And when you’re living in America at the end of the millennium…”

“You’re what you own.” The two finished in sync with each other.

_So I own not a notion, I escape and ape content. I don't own emotion, I rent._

The zombies began to dawn in closer on the two of them, Wilbur barking orders in the form of song. This was difficult. Still, they remained pressed against each other, unable to let go.

_What was it about that night? Connection in an isolating age._

Him and Xander were together and they’d make it through. He was finally able to see hope in this thickening cloud that swarmed the city.

_For once the shadows gave way to light. For once I don’t disengage!_

“Say it with me.” Xander said as he squeezed John’s hand to the rhythm of the song they both cherished. John, breathing heavier, nodded. “Angel, I hear you.” Xander began before John took over.

“Mimi, I see you.” Then he heard an entirely different song. One that wasn’t the song him and Xander were rehearsing. The one that was embedded in his brain, calling him, and he felt sick. “I hear it, I hear it, I hear it, my song!” He burst and let go of Xander’s hand to caress his head.

“John?” Xander asked softly and turned around, spinning John around with him. The shorter man looked up with wide eyes, his natural blue eyes beginning to swirl with an entity of evil. Xander noticed. “No…” He said but John shook his head.

“You listen to me, Xander Lee. You carry out my legacy.”

“Don’t talk like this!”

“You can do it.” John was desperate as he held Xander’s shoulder. Out of impulse, Xander dropped his gun to hold John properly. He pulled John into a kiss, pressing John tight to his body. He kissed John like there wouldn’t be another chance, well, there wouldn’t be now. John kissed back, just as desperate as his husband.

_One song glory, Mimi your eyes._

But then after a while they had to pull away as John began to fight away from Xander. “I quit!” The blonde burst. He was beginning to struggle fighting against the infection. He was beginning to succumb to it. Xander tried to feel around for his gun on the floor with his foot but failed to find it. He looked down and noticed it wasn’t there. “Xander he’s got a gun-“ John said in a scared whisper as he looked up at Wilbur. Xander spun to face the ex-Colonel to see his gun in Wilbur’s hand.

“Fuck.” Xander said as he held John again.

_Dying in America at the end of the millennium. We’re dying in America._

“To come into our own!” Wilbur sang and pointed the gun at Xander. Nobody had time to react when the bullets hissed through the air. Xander braced himself for his inevitable infection but was shocked when it never came. Instead, he felt John’s splutter as his shoulders relaxed. John’s gun rattled to the floor as it was dropped before John’s knees gave out. The smoke began to clear. As it did, the infected vanished with it. It left the yellow light from the streetlamps to shine down on John. His whimpers weren’t pleasant to hear and was in fact frightening. Xander crouched down beside him.

“Jay?!” He asked, panicking.

“Zee, you were right.” He said as he clutched his bleeding chest. The liquid that seeped from his shirt was slowly turning purple. “The spores were in the smoke I-I should have listened to you.”

“No, do not blame yourself now. I dropped the gun; this is my fault.” He said, helping to put pressure on John’s chest, where the bullets hit. John bit out a scream through clenched teeth and writhed under the new sensation.

“You were right, Xander. You were always fucking right. And-“

“Save your breath, you can be saved.”

“And when you’re dying in America at the end of the millennium…you’re not alone.” He finally looked at Xander, his eyes now turning brighter blue by the second. However, Xander didn’t find himself scared looking at John in this state. Whimpering, he took off his wedding and engagement ring, forcing them into Xander’s free hand. Xander looked at the rings in his hand, beginning to breathe shakily knowing this truly was the end.

“I'm not alone.” He repeated as he watched John.

“I’m not alone.” The two said together. John tried to sit up, but Xander kept him down.

“Xander Lee, I love you so much, but PEIP’s fate lies in your hands now.”

“Come on, you can fight, I’ll make a cure I’ll do it I will-“

“I know you will. It’s why I’m trusting you with my job.”

“John, please, I love you don’t-“

John interrupted, coughing sharply. “You’re in PEIP now, Xander. Get her done.” He said before his eyes rolled back into his head. Xander didn’t want to leave John alone, but he knew he had to. Leaving John’s corpse on the floor was the hardest thing he had to do. He’d carry out John’s legacy if that’s what he wanted. He picked up John’s gun from beside it, put it in his own pocket, and walked back to the jeep. PEIP was John’s organisation. He just had to do the bare minimum, e.g. find a cure, and save the world. That was it.

* * *

Driving away from the square, the swirling sea of songs that once stopped the safety of the small town known as Hatchetfield had come to an overall halt. A young man, around 30, approached the old Starlight Theatre with the knowledge this event was now a life and death situation. With grenade attached to his belt, Paul Matthews grit his teeth, talking about how he’d do this for Emma. Emma was the only reason Paul would fight those bastards and if that meant he’d sacrifice his life then so be it. Xander knew Paul through John. John and Paul had spoken briefly before, so as Xander passed to see the doors open, he went to investigate. He got out the jeep, keeping his gun close to him, as he watched the scene unfold. Even from the exterior of the building, the stench of lemons, windex and mint was clear. Two men stood in the midst of the ghost town. One of them was inside the building, one of them wasn’t.

So far, nobody was inside the building except Paul. If he just unpinned the grenade and blew up the meteor, everything would go smoothly, but this was Hatchetfield. Nothing was ever the norm. People began to appear. A lady in a Greenpeace uniform, a girl who worked at Beanies, a guy in a salmon pink shirt and a blazer, Henry Hidgens…all gone. John’s words echoed in his head. _“So this is it. This is the end of Hatchetfield like it was always destined to be.”_ Knowing everything happened for a reason, Xander moved away from the Starlight even if he didn’t want to. This was between Paul and the hive now. If Paul died, he died. But Xander wasn’t gonna let the Hive take over the world. He walked back to the jeep, driving away without a seatbelt on.

He needed to get back to PEIP, but the explosion of the starlight theatre crushed him, literally. Without the ability to breathe anymore, he saw the light spotting his eyes. He let death envelope him. The world was coming to an end.

_He failed John._

* * *

He’d died in America after a long fight. He’d left his conscious behind, he’d left his husband behind…maybe things didn’t always happen for a reason. He knew because, watching the event from another dimension, it wasn’t written in Xander’s path. He heard the door click open and Xander hissed the portal shut. “What’s going on over there, Lieutenant?” A familiar general spoke. His hair was loose around his face.

“Well, we’re both dead.” Xander said simplistically. “You died of the infection and I got crushed in the jeep by parts of the theatre that had split from the original building.” He said.

“Well, how about we take a trip?” He asked, producing a Hydrogen bomb from his pocket. Xander rolled his eyes but grinned.

“Just don’t fuck things up.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay so basically at the beginning it's john and xander talking to each other. The second scene is a flashback to earlier in the day. then john dies. then after xander dies, it skips to john and xander in the black friday universe and they watched the scene take place from their own universe (universe 2.) canonically, this is also a prologue to one of my earliest fics (something you pine for,) but can be read as a standalone


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